There are definitely some instances of “Love at first sight” that exist, but that doesn’t last forever. In fact, it doesn’t last for long before life and circumstances start to complicate it. You must make a conscious decision and consistent effort to continue being in love – to continue loving someone.
Today my husband and I celebrated our six-month wedding anniversary. It is hard to believe that it has already been six months! Most days I wake up and have to take a moment to really take in everything around me because it is hard to believe that I am where I am today. I never imagined that my life would play out the way that it has. The road hasn’t been easy but it has been well worth it. I’m not here today to talk to you about my life as a whole though, I am here to share with you the details of a new relationship and how I ended up married less than a year after meeting my husband for the first time, as well as how our marriage is going so far.
I’d like to start at the end of this story and say that this marriage has turned out being way better than my first marriage. In fact, it isn’t even comparable. My first marriage was terrible, especially the first 6 months. I didn’t see my ex-husband for the first six months because he was in military boot camp which meant that I spent most of my first pregnancy alone as well. So – uneventful really. When he did finally come home, it was one problem after another.
Have Steve and I had problems? Tons! The biggest difference is that we have been able to successfully work through our issues and especially our differences. In fact, we’ve made our differences work together. Our relationship started out great, we were both very infatuated with one another and I fought off falling for him for many months to come. When I finally gave in and allowed myself to love Steve, it seemed that our problems started piling up. Very quickly. This was difficult because our first 6 months together had been a rollercoaster for me. When we started talking online, I had no interest in him. He deleted me from Facebook because I hardly talked to him and when I realized I was angry, I also realized I was interested in him. Then, when we met in person my first thought was that it would go nowhere and would merely just be fun while it lasted. That was in October and by Christmas I found myself falling in love with him more with each day that passed.
In April, only six months after we started dating, we called things off. We had faced several different difficulties in our short relationship, things that I will not go into detail here because frankly – it’s our business, but never-the-less neither of us thought that we could overcome the things we were facing. Sometime in the beginning of that month Steve started to talk more and more about friendship and began distancing himself from the relationship. I on the other hand did the only thing that I knew to do and walked away completely. This was a very hard decision to make but I had no other choice. I have been in multiple relationships that I held on to way too long and way too far past repair. I wasn’t going to do that again.
By the end of April Steve had asked to come see me – a first since we met as I had always traveled to him. I was adamant to refuse seeing him but in the end, I gave in and decided to see what would come of it. When he arrived, I was very stand off-ish and remained that way through most of our visit. I didn’t want to allow him back in, I didn’t want to hurt any further and I was finally starting to get over my feelings for him. After several minutes of not really speaking he asked that we go hiking, something he wasn’t at all interested in. I decided to take him up on the offer and show him one of my daily trails here in Delphi where I live. He actually enjoyed it, which showed me an entirely different side of this city boy that I had gotten to know.
By the end of the visit we agreed to try thing one more time. Understanding what changed his mind, I knew he deserved another chance – that WE deserved another chance. I was scared and would be for many months to come. One thing that we were still stuck with was the distance between us – me living in Delphi and him residing in Kokomo, both of us adamant about not relocating. We told ourselves and one another that it would work out somehow. That somehow occurred very shortly after when Steve became fed up with his long-term employer. Leaving the company that he had worked for, he decided to relocate to Delphi and start over new. With me. Together. This was such a shock in the beginning and things moved so quickly that it was overwhelming.
In June, standing in the Tippecanoe River, Steve asked me to marry him. This also came as a shock, because this was the man who told me from the day we met that we didn’t need to get married, that he didn’t want to get married. I of course accepted his proposal, putting all of my faith into the love and life that we were building together. We had an outdoor, riverside wedding – dressed in formal camo that my grandmother handmade. It was beautiful. I couldn’t imagine a better, more gorgeous wedding. I wrote out our ceremony wording and my best friend (and maid of honors’) father married us. My aunt made the wedding cake that I partially designed, Steve’s father handled the music as well as stood in as the Best Man, my son presented us with our rings, and my uncle gave me away. It was perfect all the way down to me reciting Steve’s line saying “I Steve…” LOL and the bee that buzzed around me throughout the entire ceremony that took place on a hot fall day. My good friend alongside another uncle of mine, captured so many great memories for Steve and I to savor for years to come. That day and the months that led up to it, I learned what family was all about.
The last six months have been… interesting. It has been a long time since I have lived with anyone and Steve hasn’t ever really had a serious relationship as far as truly sharing life with someone. Learning how to exist and flourish under the same roof hasn’t been easy to say the least but I think that we are finally starting to figure it out! One thing that is very strong in our relationship is our teamwork. We both work, we both clean the house, we both parent, etc. This is something that has been great to discover. This man and I could rule the world together and I know that we are going to build a truly good life together. We have had our moments, no doubt, but we have become stronger through each issue that we work through together.
Throughout the last six months we haven’t only gotten to know one another deeper, but also ourselves. We are both growing into new people every day and learning more about who we are as individuals as well as a couple. I believe that this is so important in the game of life. Steve is learning how to be a parental figure to my son, which is slow going but I have seen so much progress in him with this. I am finally learning what it means to be loved, truly. He is getting to experience having a large family and I am getting to experience having a father figure as well as siblings. We both have completely different lives compared to that of a year ago and it’s fantastic! Even during the bad times we have learned to stick together and work together rather than against one another – which from experience can be a difficult lesson to learn. You have to be in love through the good AND the bad. Steve hasn’t just become my husband, he truly has become my best friend. His successes are my own, my struggles are his, and vice versa. We are a team and I couldn’t ask for a better man to have by my side through this lifetime.